Diana Ross's Thanksgiving Invitation List!

Ignored/Rejected by The Cut, October 2019

Hi sharks!

Today I’m technically pitching YOU with something that I’ve obsessed over since 2016: Who gets invited to Diana Ross’s Thanksgiving???

I shopped it to The Cut in 2019 during one of my rare pitch-productivity bursts. (Fueled by an bi-annual celestial alignment of gentle mania, the perfect amount of too much caffeine + just enough protein, pre-medicated anxiety, ephemeral bravery, and the even more ephemeral genuine excitement to write something).

They did not write me back :(

I slipped The Cut a shorter version of the Diana story into a “p.s.” in 2020, when I pitched their editors on Hayden Panettiere’s early aughts Neutrogena commercial. Hayden got green-lit; no dice on Dame Ross’s Thanksgiving. Understandable, because that time, it was at the bottom of a pitch about CELEB SKINCARE (algorithm candy), and, as you can imagine, I write insufferably long emails. (CURRENTLY, however, The Cut is not writing me back about a pitch on TikTok accents, hello please!!!!!!!!! )

More importantly, I just realized I have a newsletter, so maybe once I set up a a lil’ paid subscription (booooooooooooooo), I’ll write Diana Ross’s Thanksgiving Invitation List for it. BUT THAT MAKES YOU THE EDITOR. So lmk in the comments or email or IG or telekinesis if you accept this pitch.

From: Amelia, sent 10/3/2019, and then again in shorter form on 7/30/20
To: The Cut, and now to you, reader of NYer Rejections

Hi Editor,

XXX passed along your info a while back for pitches. I'm sure you get a million pitch emails a day, so if there's someone else you'd prefer me to direct my pretty unhinged and too-long ITATAL pitch to, let me know and I'll send on over.

I Think About This a Lot: How Ashlee Simpson and Diana Ross probably have every other Thanksgiving together.

Ashlee Simpson is married to Evan Ross, who is Diana Ross's youngest son. Because Thanksgiving is a logistically-complicated holiday, Evan and Ashlee probably have an agreement where they do one year at his family's, and the other at her family's. (If the families live nearby, maybe there's a double-Thanksgiving-in-one-day situation.) 

It should also be noted that Ashlee's parents are divorced, and with divorced parents myself, I know that this adds further logistics to the holiday. Still, whatever their arrangement is, there has to be at least one great planetary alignment every few years where Diana Ross, her son Evan Ross -- and therefore Ashlee Simpson Ross, are all at the same Thanksgiving, along with (probably!) Tracee Ellis Ross (she and Evan are half-siblings); Jessica Simpson and her husband; Ryan Cabrera (who is Ashlee's ex, extremely 2000s, and Evan Ross's best friend) (doesn't the Ross family seem like the kind of family who'd invite their kids' straggler friends home for Thanksgiving during the college years); and maybe even Pete Wentz, if only for a few minutes to say hi post-kid drop-off or pick-up, given that he and Ashlee Simpson co-parent 6-year-old Bronx Wentz. 

For some reason, I find it all so random and wonderful and it really blows my mind. Do they do karaoke? What about 11 p.m. turkey-stuffing-potato chip sandwiches? Are they late Thanksgiving dinner eaters, or the 4 p.m. kind? Football or Macy's Day Parade? Formal attire or old leggings at the table? Giblets in the gravy or no? 

I'd love to write about all of this and more if you'll let me. And if you hate this pitch, then so do I! Would love to learn more about what you are looking for so I can try again.

All my best,

Amelia